


Rabbit or Habit?

by miss_nettles_wife



Category: The Doctor Blake Mysteries
Genre: Bullying, Fighting, First Kiss, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Physical Abuse, Studying, Underage Smoking, bruise, from the bullying i should clarify, lying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-16
Updated: 2017-02-16
Packaged: 2018-09-24 22:20:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9789635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miss_nettles_wife/pseuds/miss_nettles_wife
Summary: Matthew Lawson is not a rabbit.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Habit](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9727889) by [flashforeward](https://archiveofourown.org/users/flashforeward/pseuds/flashforeward). 



> I'm addicted to Matthew Lawson angst send help.

“Are you okay?”

  
They are sitting on Matthew’s bed, listening to one of his records. Lucien is drumming on a text book with his hands to the beat. The comforter is old and stained. He can almost smell him, from how close they’re sitting. Their knees are touching but neither of them have done anything about it.  
He doesn’t know if he’s okay. He doesn’t think he is. His left eye is rather spectacularly swelled after taking a nice shiner to the face from Macavoy. He told Lucien it was from another different fight, protecting his sisters honor. He told his sister it was just a scuffle, nothing to get their father involved in. He told his father that it came from a game of football, because it’s the only thing that he would accept.

  
Lawsons are born fighters, or so he’s been told. If he admits he got thrashed at school by an older boy to took some kind of personal joy out of making his life Hell, then life here, his only safety where Macavoy cannot follow, would also be Hell, and then where would he be?

  
He’d still probably be hanging around with Lucien Blake, a smart boy, but very unobservant at times. Since Matthew’s bruises don’t factor into his life in any spectacular way, he ignores them. If Matthew lies, he believes. He’s a good friend, Lucien Blake. He doesn’t know what he did to deserve a beacon of light in these trying times.  
He wouldn’t call Lucien his best friend. He doesn’t see him often enough. Never writes him letters. Never gets any in return. He doesn’t have a best friend other than himself. Maybe that’s just how he’s meant to be. Alone. Lucien is still looking at him intently, his eyes are deeper then any pool Matthew has ever seen.

  
“Matthew?”

  
Lucien has a hand on one of his now. It’s small compared to his. Everything about Lucien Blake is small. His mother often says that he’s going to shoot up one day but Matthew doesn’t know about that. She says he’s growing like a weed and complains about how many times she has to let his trousers down. He raises up his eyebrows, and then coughs up a smile.

  
“I’m fine.”

  
Lucien doesn’t look satisfied.

  
“I don’t think you are.”

  
“Why would you think that?”

  
“Just a hunch.”

  
He’s closer now. His other hand travels to Matthew’s shiner, his fingers travel along the skin so gentle he can barely feel it, which given the bruise, is really saying something. He’s close. Too close. Matthew still doesn’t push him away. His brow is crinkled deeply in concern; a stain on his face. Matthew wants to smooth it and wash it away.

  
“Are you sure you’re okay?”

  
He asked, voice soft, deeply concerned. His left eye has a small dark spot on his otherwise perfectly blue eyes. Matthew thinks he might be able to smell cigarettes on his breath. He somehow moves even closer, hesitant, as if waiting to be pushed away and Matthew does want to push him away. His mother is just outside. Even if it’s innocent friendly concern from Lucien, she would take it wrong. But at the same time. He likes Lucien. Likes being around him. Enough?

  
Maybe. He hasn’t had much experience. Too busy trying to avoid Macavoy to bother hunting down a beau. Lucien has always been too engaged in his studies to bother. These times he returns to Ballarat, however brief, are a much loved reprieve from his otherwise barren life. His father doesn’t agree, and Lucien leaves as soon as he arrives. And Matthew misses him. He doesn’t know if he wants to kiss Lucien. He’s heard it’s wrong. He’s heard it’s disgusting. Illegal, even.

  
But then.

  
But then.

  
He initiates it. He leans forwards and they kiss in the awkward, slightly chaste way teenagers often do.  
Lucien looks at him.

  
He looks at Lucien.

  
“Yeah. I’m okay.”


End file.
